It’s Alive!   Leave a comment

I feel like I just created a monster with the release of Buzzkill.   Writing it was the most exhilarating, heart wrenching and challenging year of my life.  I completely put myself out there regarding my life long struggle with mental illness, misfiring medications, suicidal side-effects, horrid hospital stays, out of control OCD, psychiatrists who need to lay on their own couches and family members constantly adding accelerate to the wildfire burning in my brain.

Basically I put in to words for all to see everything I’ve spent my entire life trying to keep secret.  I unabashedly share how I’ve dealt with bipolar illness before I was diagnosed as a child, improperly diagnosed as a college student and finally properly diagnosed as an adult.  All this time was fraught with uncontrollable impulses I could not predict nor save myself the embarrassment of having in public.  WIth Buzzkill I feel like I am standing on stage in a packed concert arena, naked and with a giant spotlight shining right on my genitals.

But there is no turning back now.  And it is my sincere hope that “letting it all hang out” will help someone dealing with the same issues to “hang on.”  People don’t want to hear from a Phd., psychiatrist, psychopharmacologist or psychologist lecturing on the mechanics of and textbook treatments for bipolar disease.  They want reality in a language they can understand;  The truth.  Consequently, Buzzkill serves it up “head in the toilet” raw.   Of course I do interject some wit and levity into many situations, but nothing is whitewashed, out of bounds or off limits.

It’s Alive!

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